Spare Clothes

Spare Clothes

When I was a student and young adult I always had a spare toothbrush and clean set of underwear in my handbag.  I never knew where I might end up spending the night and one had to be prepared....

No….. Just wait a second; before u think I am bragging/flaunting my promiscuity... Not at all! Yes, I was quite hot and gorgeous ($hit happens people... It is called life, kids, work, stress!) so I get that you might think that...However, the truth is... I had no car. So I would end up visiting one of my (girl!) friends, who had a car, and we would go out. And I would just end up spending the night on her couch... Or sommer the weekend. I was not very high maintenance at all! Clean underwear and clean teeth and I was good to go! Later when I had my own car, I still just ended up staying the weekend at Liz's or Lol's. They had far better places than I had. And way more food. And often hot rugby players for neighbours.  (I must tell you one day about the toga party with the Cheetah rugby team... But that is another story... Oohhh and then there is also the story about Ollie le Roux when The Sharks came to Bloem....but that is also another story…)

So back to my panty story....

So about 17/18 years ago it was The Sister-in-law’s kitchen tea.  Some or other freaking sparky bridesmaid decided it was a good idea to play this stupid game where, when they call an item and you carry it in your handbag, you are out.... I like games. I am extremely competitive and think games are fun…

The VERY FIRST item they called was... A panty! Turned out, the only two people in the room, with a panty in their handbags, was me... and The Husband’s 80 year old grandmother! Not such a fun game anymore! And so came the reign of the spare panty in bag to an end... and I retired the spare panty and toothbrush.

Fast forward 18 years later.... On our way back home tonight from dropping off kids in Pietermaritzburg at school, and halfway up Town Hill, The Husband started shouting and swearing and then pulled off the highway... We snapped a freaking fan belt. It is 19:00 at night. On a Sunday.  Thank goodness for the sister-i- law that lives around the corner. (Yup, the same one with the stupid bridesmaid) We'll just spend the night.

Oops, no spare panty and toothbrush.... It seriously took 18 years for me to need that bloody panty again!

No problem, I will just borrow some pj's.   Oops, bloody skinny ass sister-in-law is skinnier than the day she got married.. And I am now 3 times the size I was… You could say doubled in size and ate her granny...! So nothing in their house will bloody fit! Thank goodness they had a bag of clothes that was donated from a fancy smanshy school nearby that shall not be named. And thank goodness they just had it all washed and cleaned to take to some or other charity organization. And thank goodness there must have been some or other rather large matric boy who left his cricket whites in the dorm when he left for the holidays... Tonight I’m sleeping in Zee's scruffy, albeit clean, t-shirt and an unnamed boys long cricket pants.... He must have been a lazy ass player because these pants don’t have a mark on them! Whoever you boys are, I thank you. But come tomorrow, I am putting a panty and toothbrush back in my handbag! I will just lie the next time some dumbass bridesmaid wants me to show her the contents of my handbag...

Diary of a Funky Chunky Chick
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